WHERE
THE
SUN
DON'T
SHINE:
Taking
a
submarine
to
the
darkest
depths
This
first
appeared
in
AQUA,
a
diving
magazine.
I
was
sent
on
a
research
cruise
to
the
"black
smokers"
in
the
mid-Pacific
by
Discovery.com.
The
most
reasonable
explanation
for
the
visions
you
see
at
deep
sea
vents
is
that
Alvin's
air-filtration
system
has
quietly
crashed
and
you're
spiraling
out
of
this
world
on
a
final,
colorful
spate
of
hallucination.
When
Alvin
Pilot
Pat
Hickey
waves
me
to
his
big
porthole
for
a
look
at
life
a
mile
and
a
half
under
the
sea,
I
hunch
in
silent
bewilderment
as
the
weirdos
and
oddballs
sway
gently
before
me,
as
alien
to
my
eyes
as
a
gathering
of
Martians.
MORE>>
CLUBBING
IN
ZOLOTITSA
A
JUNKET
Sometimes
a
tour-operator
with
a
new
itinerary
tests
it
out
on
writers.
If
the
writers
come
back
alive,
that's
a
good
start.
If
they
write
nice
things
about
trip,
then
you're
cooking.
In
the
early
1990s,
Escape
Magazine
(RIP)
sent
me
on
a
junket
to
Russia's
White
Sea,
where
some
good-hearted
folks
were
trying
to
convert
the
local
economy
from
seal-clubbing
to
seal-watching.
I
wrote
up
this
report
for
Escape,
but
I
guess
the
editors
considered
the
prospects
for
the
tour
package
to
be
unpromising.
The
story
never
saw
the
light
of
day.
I
imagine
the
men
of
Zolotitsa
continue
to
bash
white
seal
pups
on
the
head
to
this
day.
Chorlotte,
a
German
journalist,
didn't
speak
much
English,
but
when
she
mustered
the
courage,
it
was
worth
listening.
A
solid,
fifty-something
woman,
she
stood
in
the
silver
arctic
light
of
what
passed
for
the
kitchen
of
our
guest-house,
brushing
her
teeth
with
suspicious
water
dipped
from
a
dented
bucket.
Charlotte
leaned
over
the
sink,
which
emptied
into
the
unspeakable
three-hole
loo
downstairs,
spat
carefully,
and
raised
her
chin.
MORE>>
MAD,
MAD,
MADAGASCAR
If
candles
had
been
on
the
menu,
I
would
have
ordered
a
couple.
But
the
waiter
brought
them
anyway,
and
I
was
grateful
for
their
feeble
effect
in
the
dark
envelope
of
my
room.
Madagascar
had
shown
me
enough
beautiful
and
sad
things
for
one
day.
MORE>>
Finding
Your
Inner
Viking
An
Introduction
to
Iceland's
Quirky
Customs
I
started
wondering
about
the
Icelandic
temperament
when
Einar
Gustavsson
advised
me
to
eat
trout
smoked
in
burning
horse
manure.
As
a
tourism
official
whose
job
is
to
convince
Americans
to
visit
Iceland,
he
did
not
tell
me
about
the
rotten
duck
eggs,
or
"hard-fish."
But
he
couldn't
restrain
himself
on
the
subject
of
the
smoked
fish.
MORE
(link
to
Away.com)
>>
The
Skinny
On...(articles
about
the
science
behind
everyday
curiosities,
first
featured
on
Discovery.com)
WHY
YOU
NEVER
SEE
BABY
PIGEONS
SONIC
BOOMS
TAILGAITING
TRUCKS
WHY
YOUR
PEE
STINKS
AFTER
EATING
ASPARAGUS
WHY
WE
CAN'T
TELL
WHAT
TIME
IT
IS
More Skinny... (courtesy of Discovery.com)
